According to Google’s dictionary, to commit means to pledge or bind a person or an organization to certain course or policy. That is the general meaning of committing, which means that the act of commitment requires people to stick to their policies or the course of life they have chosen to follow. The same applies to committing to a marriage.
When getting married, most people don’t really imagine that their lives would be that changed. They believe that instead of living with their families they would be living with their wives and that is it. The problem here is that they are not committed to living with their families in the first place. This happens with their wives and therefore, breeds a sad and unhealthy relationship.
Life with our parents lately tended to be more like living in a hostel. No fixed chores, no fixed amount of time to spend with your family, and no consequences. You find your family happy with whatever time you spend around them and they organize their life without including you. Other families are not happy at all, so you grow more and more alienated from them and you spend most of your time with your friends. That is how most males are raised and that is how they mostly spend their time. Girls on the other hand, take the fall for their male siblings. They usually make their chores instead of them and are raised to be close to their family and usually make it their number one priority. So when a male from that type gets married to a female from the other type they tend to clash a lot. That is because the males want to treat their wives just as they treat their families, whenever they like on their own rules, and if life turned to hell they either spend all their time at work or run to their friends at coffee shops or play station parlors. They believe that their responsibility and commitment lies only in spending well on their wives and houses. They believe that their only chore is to make money. Other than that is a woman’s job. The woman on the other hand looks for a life like the one she’s used to. She looks for someone to be her priority like her family was. So she gets lonely and sad and starts fighting.
This is the point where the wife’s duty is to explain to the husband what she really need and what she is looking for, and for the husband to try and “commit” to the relationship by making small sacrifices that would make his wife happy. Problems happen when men refuse to listen and women turns to screaming and to silent treat their husbands. This leads to a broken home. To break that cycle, men need to know that committing means taking part, being included as an active member of the house. They take chores and they spend time bonding with their wives, just as they do with their friends. When they have children they need to take part in raising the children, being an active parent. That would give the woman time to recover and she won’t be so tired and life would get a little simpler than it could be when the husband is not participating at all.
Love is a choice, as well as partnership. It takes people who are willing to be there and to take part. It can start at any time or age. It is always needed and wanted. It can start with baby steps. First, you can commit yourself to a simple chore at home. Then, to a weekly present to the missus. Later, it can turn to a monthly date night where you go out together and just talk about yourselves. That monthly date can become weekly at a point. Then a monthly outing for the kinds, which by time turns to every weekend. Establishing a system to your life would make you feel positive and active, you will also feel how important you are in your family’s lives. That doesn’t mean that you have to give up your outings with your friends or the big amount of work you do, you can still commit to your friends and to your work. All it takes is sticking to your marriage when the days are rough. When your wife is grumpy and cranky. It takes resilience, a determination to make it work and to be there. It is a decision, and with most women, it is easy to start. Think it over and take a chance.